My younger years went by in this feeling of having nothing to look forward to. Then for a few years, in my middle age, I had this great sense of well being. Now again I am back in my dumps......life has been quite good..there are so many people with real sorrows, real afflictions...I have none. Be grateful and enjoy what you have.

empty nest

The things that you read about, which happen to people, actually happen to you too! Surprise!!!!
One reads about the empty nest syndrome. I thought " It's hyped up. Ok it is sad to have your kids away, but think of what all you can do instead of making hourly tea for son and arguing with daughter about eating right" But "they" are right. It is terribly depressing. I find myself in tears for no reason. Last year, I was away in the beautiful hills, enjoying my long vacation and I didnt feel a thing, but now that I am back in my house, it is really painful. I am surprised.
In India, married couples of my generation and older, do not have any common interests except the children. Take the children out of the equation, you are left with nothing. I am glad to see that the younger couples, even my younger brothers and cousins, have a more sharing kind of marriage. We also gave up good careers to take care of the kids, since daycare was pathetic in those days. So now, no career, no one to talk to, nothing.... But this has happened all along...my mother's generation, and older women all managed, so why can I not? I am sure I too will manage.

dying

I seem to have this blog. Nowadays I think a lot about my old age since my parents are staying with me. It really scares me that I may become dependent on others. My father is undergoing the mental distress of not being able to go and do what he wants to... he has to depend on others. Still, he is lucky that he is fairly fit for his age-86- and that I do things for him most of the times.
I hope I die before I become incapable of doing my own work.

learning how to live

You learn how to live your youth when you are 50, and perhaps you learn how to age well when you are past 80.
We learn everything too late.
I think I am learning how to be happy with the life that I am living...it's a good life by any yardstick. But then, being happy or unhappy has got nothing to do with whether your life is good or not. There are miserable people who have enviable lives and happy people living in not-very-good circumstances.
Being happy, barring tragedies, is only in the mind..nothing to do with the outside world or the people therein.

The regular holidays we have nowadays due to the numerous bandhs are being wasted. i am not doing much in these days. That is the cause of all my problems in life....not making use of time

Nowadays I miss my children more than ever. Surprising. I had got used to not having kids around and was enjoying my leisure. It is not good when children move away. But good for the children though.

I thought I had learnt to control my speech. i still say things that I had resolved not to say. But I must say I have improved a lot.
If we lack control on our thoughts and actions, how can we control anything in this world?